Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
The wine colored sea.
16 of 20 watercolors made for a friend's birthday. Hope he enjoys them. They were fun to make. I did them previous to my whole new selfish outlook.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
collapse at last what once held fast
I REALLY like this one. But it's been in the Gimp-Users' group on deviantart's list to post for a week now without going up. Grrrr. Must break heads.
I originally wanted to make it as a clay model to photograph but I got distracted and made this little mushroom pic instead. The little spheres had my hands sore the next day. But the textures in the top one were inspired by the way the clay blocks look when you rip them apart. Such a lateral process I meander through...
Friday, October 21, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Oh noes! A text post!
My apologies for letting this blog go dormant so long, I'm going to be updating more regularly from here on out.
I'm not bitter about these things, but I need to point them out. Today while working I realized this thing.
I'm no longer doing it to appeal to others. I've always tried to either have a learning experience or have a specific person for whom I'm doing something. That's not there any more. There have been too many times where a silence was there to suffice for a, "Thanks, but no thanks."
It's long hard work for me. It is, and I'm not bitter about that any more. I can't be and go on. I'm mentally ill, so it's not that I suffer for my art but that I suffer generally and the only response to that is either a belittling that allows others to use me or an assumption that it's easy to do the things I do. Things don't pop fully-formed from my forehead like a Zeus. So it's terribly important I like what I do, and doing it for me will help me carry on carrying on.
If you've been supportive of me in the past I can't be grateful enough. I'm not abandoning what I know to be quality all the time, but it's no longer a concern of mine to live up to anyone's expectations. I want to be sure not to insult anyone by saying I just don't care. I do care for you, personally, but this new freedom is intoxicating in its liberating aspects.
Again, there has been too much tossing my work in the trash. Too much lack of thanks for my good efforts, let alone being a cultural resource in a land immured with anti-culture. Again, I'm not bitter. Maybe one day the world will be ready for me, but this is me officially rejecting it until it can learn to love itself, and by extension me.
I'm not bitter about these things, but I need to point them out. Today while working I realized this thing.
I'm no longer doing it to appeal to others. I've always tried to either have a learning experience or have a specific person for whom I'm doing something. That's not there any more. There have been too many times where a silence was there to suffice for a, "Thanks, but no thanks."
It's long hard work for me. It is, and I'm not bitter about that any more. I can't be and go on. I'm mentally ill, so it's not that I suffer for my art but that I suffer generally and the only response to that is either a belittling that allows others to use me or an assumption that it's easy to do the things I do. Things don't pop fully-formed from my forehead like a Zeus. So it's terribly important I like what I do, and doing it for me will help me carry on carrying on.
If you've been supportive of me in the past I can't be grateful enough. I'm not abandoning what I know to be quality all the time, but it's no longer a concern of mine to live up to anyone's expectations. I want to be sure not to insult anyone by saying I just don't care. I do care for you, personally, but this new freedom is intoxicating in its liberating aspects.
Again, there has been too much tossing my work in the trash. Too much lack of thanks for my good efforts, let alone being a cultural resource in a land immured with anti-culture. Again, I'm not bitter. Maybe one day the world will be ready for me, but this is me officially rejecting it until it can learn to love itself, and by extension me.
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